Saturday, March 18, 2006

Dear Brutal Truth: SXSW Observations Edition

Dear Readers:
In honor of our favorite Austin tradition, SXSW, we've decided to post all the things that we hate about this otherwise great festival. (That and the fact that we haven't had any questions in WAY TOO LONG so write to us, please. We don't look pretty begging.)

Vanessa:
1. The Badgies -- Wearing your badge in Whole Foods / Magnolia / Jo's OR anywhere other than a music venue doesn't make you cool -- it makes you a tool.
2. Skinny jeans -- Pencil-legged pants look good on roughly 3% of the population. Odds are, you're not one of them.
3. Double parking -- Listen, you East Coast punks, this is not New York. If you're wondering why the locals are so over you, this is one of the reasons. (Editor's note: Irony duly noted that I'm now an East Coaster, but I can smugly state that I do not double park. Ever.)


April:
1. The Bars -- SXSW introduces you to places you never thought you'd be. Spiro's until 2 am?? You got it. And yes, it's as bad as the promo commercials make it out to be.

2. The moshers - is it really necessary to be a jerk and thrash around at the front of the stage when there's obviously no room for your freakazoid dancing??

3. Tall people -- this is mainly for our non-gigantor audience who will feel my pain. Why is it that I manage to squeeze my 4 foot nothing ass up to the front, only to be trumped by the tallest GUY in the joint? Because people suck.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Vanessa, your SXSW observations seem steeped in jealousy. I was curious if you considered yourself a jealous person? April, your observations seem more about inconviences. I will submit these to SXSW suggestions.

Anonymous said...

My wife is extremely hip and with-it. But I sometimes get tired of trying to keep up. There's so much self-involved stuff going on that I often feel lost. The latest craze or hip thing means nothing to me. It's not easy for me to simply like what I sincerely like and co-exist among her friends. Any suggestions?

Anonymous said...

SXSW? Why do I even try? I still miss the old days - when there was a quest to just seeking good music. That time has passed. Now there's no ability to slowly foster a relationship with a band. New Media is everywhere. Why are new bands releasing their third box set? All this output before they even polish their first song? I realize the mission is near impossible. How can a band create something mysteriously compelling in 2006? Not easy. On the fan side, I could do without everyone attaching their self-esteem or identity to the bands they brag about. What? You like the cute, buzzy, perfect band? And no one's heard of them yet? I'm so impressed. Mostly, I like music that lifts me. Sometimes a band lifts me, but their songs don't. Also, if the tunes depress me, that's fine to, but, they better be damn good. I definitely don't like bands that can characterize punk's amateurism and none of it's point or humor. And I'll take direct songs about divorces, lived lives, and adultery everybit as much the critically blessed obscure tones of the day. My Bloody Valentine was an exception, not a target. So, after SXSW, I feel like I'm the character in High Fidelity. A guy who has actually retarded his life with too much devotion to rock and roll. I'm an old guy trapped in a teenager's mindset. It's pretty pathetic, but, what else is there in Life? Let me know. See you next year, Fell O. Austinite.

Anonymous said...

I thought it rained too much. I blame God.