Q. My best friend has some pretty serious issues with her marriage. Because I spend a lot of time with her and her husband (and their super cute children), I occasionally get put in the middle.
I have an example, but it’s kind of convoluted. Last week, I helped my friend out with babysitting while her husband was out of town. In return, I borrowed the car for a week. It seemed like a pretty fair trade to me.
Here’s where it gets hairy though: my friend and her husband are in the middle of a major squabble now because she doesn’t think he is grateful enough for how hard she has to work when he’s out of town. So in their weekly therapy session, she brought me up as an example and accused her husband of being uncool to me and never thanking me for helping them. She went even further and told him that my feelings were hurt and that I was upset.
Next, I got a text message from him apologizing for being an a-hole.
I don’t want to stab my best friend in the back, but I don’t like being dragged into their marital problems, didn’t think he was being an asshole (maybe to her, but not to me) and don’t even want the apology. Do I accept the apology and thank him? Do I tell him that he doesn’t need to apologize to me? Or do I get really brave and ask her not to bring me into the mix?
I have an example, but it’s kind of convoluted. Last week, I helped my friend out with babysitting while her husband was out of town. In return, I borrowed the car for a week. It seemed like a pretty fair trade to me.
Here’s where it gets hairy though: my friend and her husband are in the middle of a major squabble now because she doesn’t think he is grateful enough for how hard she has to work when he’s out of town. So in their weekly therapy session, she brought me up as an example and accused her husband of being uncool to me and never thanking me for helping them. She went even further and told him that my feelings were hurt and that I was upset.
Next, I got a text message from him apologizing for being an a-hole.
I don’t want to stab my best friend in the back, but I don’t like being dragged into their marital problems, didn’t think he was being an asshole (maybe to her, but not to me) and don’t even want the apology. Do I accept the apology and thank him? Do I tell him that he doesn’t need to apologize to me? Or do I get really brave and ask her not to bring me into the mix?
husband. (Did I just go deep or what!?) I’m sure their therapist
figured that one out though. Don’t you just hate when friends (or
family members) put you in the middle of their issues? Can you say
AWKWARD??? Kinda like when you're in a room of friends and someone
farts, but nobody says they notice the fart (when they obviously do)
and eventually one of your friends says “ok, who farted?” and then
everyone stares back at that friend blankly. Um, or has that just
happened to me? Ooh, but let’s get back to your question. I think
you’ve got the answer already figured out here. In my little ‘ol
opinion you should tell the husband that he doesn’t need to apologize
and get ballsy and tell your friend not to drag you into their marital
problems.
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