Going Full Tiger

Q: My wife and I were discussing the Tiger Woods situation and she asks, "Would you ever have two mistresses?"  Assuming the conversation was in jest, and thus getting over the doubt my wife could have been pointing out in my loyalty to her, I entertained the thought and realized that if you are going to cross the line from 1 to 2, you might as well go "Full Tiger" (I want to be credited with coining that) and put up 12 +.  When I replied accordingly, the response was, "You couldn't pull 12!"  Okay, so now my wife has first questioned my loyalty, but then has gone right out and implied that if I were to stray, that I could only pull some toothless (hey now!), matted haired, homeless chick, and at that, only one of them…if I had pocket lined with sandwiches!

As a man, my competitive nature is drawn out and my ego is at stake, but this appears to be a no-win situation for me. 

•  If I do nothing, all the girls I have consulted have told me, "That's because you are a nice guy."  Thank you ladies, but that doesn't help put The Duke back on the horse.  No man really wants to be that.  We want to be the guy who appears in movies with the "scumbag music" in the background.  A little edgy, perhaps dangerous, and could certainly go Full Tiger is he decided to.  This approach, while commendable, does nothing to repair the damage to my ego that has been brought by questioning my ability to pull.
• If I prove it to her, go Full Tiger, and provide a list, video tapes, and various bottles of half used lotions, she will no doubt divorce me.

So my question is how do I repair my ego and keep my marriage intact?

A: VF - This is sorta a cop out, but I really liked the brevity of this so I'm going to quote my friend Josh here, when I told him of your dilemma: "Go home and f*ck your woman hard." I wouldn't have worded it *exactly* like that, but Josh captured my sentiments succinctly (albeit crassly). See, sometimes the ladies like to know their men could get some but choose otherwise. And that's entirely possible to communicate by just your way of being -- without being a dick or compromising your marital vows. So, be confident with her in like, every aspect of your lives. She'll get it.

A: ACL - Um, you need to lighten up. Do you get this angst-ridden about ALL hypothetical conversations? You posted this question quite some time ago, so I hope you're not divorced yet or anything. But, my advice to you would be to stop being a whiny-bitch, get over your ego, and live happily ever after. Incidentally, if my husband told me he could get 12+ bitches, I'd laugh at  him too. I mean, he probably could, but I know he wouldn't. And even if he did, they'd probably be fat or something. Either way, it's a dumb conversation and only the super immature would be offended by the response.