Q. There is a person that knows she has an advanced yoga practice and continues to take classes where the majority is beginners. She sits front row and there appears to be lots of ego in her postures. I know there is no perfect posture, but it is driving me crazy. This is another reason I do not like the mirrors. I sometimes make the class face the back wall. I am not sure how to speak to this. I always speak to the majority of the class. It's almost as if she is showing off to the beginners and it is very intimidating To them. Just not sure how to approach this person, as far as feedback is concerned. This is a person who I am not sure will ever drop competition and ego-driven success.
A. Vanessa: Sure I could give you advice on how to needle the know-it-all in class (teach breath, long holds, slowing it way-the-f-down) but that might seem like I'm putting the onus on her. And I'm not. It's not about the experience the beginners are having either. (Fortunately, the most important thing you have to worry about with beginners is that they're in healthy poses.) So what's this really about? Drum roll... you. First, trust me, you do NOT want to be caught up in the hell that is creating the perfect environment. People-pleasing is always a losing proposition. Not only is it impossible to please everyone, but people's needs change and are subject to their own lives that you are probably not aware of when they walk into your class. It's exhausting and *will* wear you out. More importantly, it's inauthentic. You're trying to be, or in this case, create, what you think people need instead of simply teaching. Taking care of your own needs is more meaningful and will have a much greater impact. Second, it's likely that Ms.Pain-in-the-Asana isn't hearing you and this has nothing to do with pitch, volume, etc. I believe that you're speaking to her from the same place she's attacking herself from -- judgment. Does she need more? I doubt it. My guess is that you can't judge her any harsher than she already judges herself. You really want her to hear you? Speak to her with compassion; a compassion that isn't even communicated with words.
April: Here's my brutal truth for this one. Is this person paying for the class? If yes - I suggest you leave her be. If this makes others in the class uncomfortable, I hate to say it, but they need to get over it. As my dear 'ol Dad used to say when I'd get whiny about what my brother and sister were (or were not) doing, "you need to worry about yourself insted of everyone else around you." Harsh, but true advice.
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2 comments:
ya'll are RIGHT on the money. Both of you!
A question....
My across the street neighbors have a daughter who is approximately three, and whose grandmother enjoys taking on walking adventures into my yard. (grandma = an active 50-ish woman) My schedule has recently become more flexible--and with the luxury of new, daytime hours spent (working) at home, I've "discovered" these walking trips. My first week at home, I asked the woman why she was in my yard (although it faces the front of my house, due to its odd orientation, its actually a very large backyard). I am a renter, not an owner, but it was weird. She explained that her granddaughter liked to wander over (across a street, oddly enough)((would you let a toddler cross any street on her own?)), and she bassically trailed behind, acting as lifegaurd and damage prevention. I thought it was a one time occassion.
Both of our homes are about two blocks from a large, safe, kid-friendly city park, and judging by the number of vehicles parked in front of their home, grandma drives to visit her granddaughter, and is probably capable of driving her granddaughter two blocks to the park, if the two blocks is too far for her just-learning-to-walk-legs to travel at this point.
My house is oriented in a manner that enables me to dance around naked in the middle of the day, sunshine streaming in, without streetside witnesses. I think that this is what irks me about the family outings in my yard. I feel restrained in my daytime home environment, worried that they make take an outing into my yard when I'm in the middle of dancing about to Metric. Or who knows. Am I the neighborhood witch for asking the fam to take their nature outings in their own yard, or to the park, even if I may not be home, utilizing my yard all of the time? The girl is adorable and the grandma is nice, but it makes me uncomfortable to have strangers in my yard. Is this too selfish?
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