Wondering Again if She'll Pay

Q.  I am a guy who is more than okay paying for the first date. Maybe even the first couple of outings are 'on me' without a second thought. I am definitely NOT one of the guys that sees the dinner check as a down payment on some some secksy fun times that a female date 'owes' me because i bought a Cobb salad and some dirty martinis, but I keep waiting (and paying) in the hopes that she decides on her own to offer to split the next check. Otherwise the dates are good to good-plus, and this isn't about the money as much as me wondering if her not offering to get the check reveals some inner selfishness on her part.

So, how long before I mention that going Dutch or having her pick up a check would be appropriate?

WASP
Wondering Again if She'll Pay

A.  VF:  Your first mistake is assuming that dinner *isn't* some sort of quid pro quo.  A Cobb salad and martinis warrant a few bases.  After the first date, of course.  Just kidding.  But that would be a convenient rule, huh?  This might be the easy answer to America's obesity epidemic.

Anyway... I see the totally un-scientific protocol as this:  At most, the guy should expect to pay for 3-4 dates before the girl should offer to split the bill.  (I do this on the first date, but that's just me.)  If, by date four she's not offering, then yes, it's a character flaw.   This doesn't mean you have to take her up on it, although I think it's good for both of you if you do.